You will be in an altered state for many moons...

If your Achilles tendon is ruptured, torn, or even simply inflamed with tendonitis, your life is about to change. Mine sure has - so I decided to chronicle these events, and create a place for others to share their experiences, advice, resources and emotions during our journey toward recovery.

Nothing in this blog is meant to take the place of the medical advice of your physician. Follow the instructions of your medical professionals, not me.

Sunday, November 14, 2010


I got to thinking about everything and I realized that in order to be completely honest about this whole venture, I should talk about what I am beginning to think is inevitable emotionally - frustration and even depression.

My surgery was four weeks ago, and I returned to work two weeks ago.  Objectively, I know that I am slowly but steadily healing, and that one day my life will be normal again.  At least, that's what I believe, and the odds are definitely in my favor.

But...I gotta warn you, disability is frustrating.  I am SO SICK AND TIRED OF THE CRUTCHES AND THE ROBOCOP BOOT.  I am tired of sitting on my flabby butt being inactive.  I am tired of not being able to clean my own house (and I'm a neat freak).  I am tired of everything being a struggle.  I'm tired of being bored.  I'm tired of my house.  I'm tired of not being able to shop without it being a major hassle.

I am tired of not being able to wear two shoes!

My leg and ankle are weak and pathetic.  My tendon is swollen to twice it's normal size.  On the bright side, the scar itself is not shocking or distracting - I think within a few months it will be nothing more than a small white line down the back of my ankle. 

But I think the hardest thing for me to deal with is the solicitude of others.  Now isn't that weird?  But I hate to be dependent on others.  I hate asking people to do things for me.  I hate, hate, hate being a burden!  When I'm at work, I hate worrying my customers, who are inevitably alarmed when they see the crutches or see me get up to help them.  Oh, how I hate the clumsy, painful limping along on crutches, and the sympathy that pours out of people!

There - there's my rant. 

I have to remind myself that I was in pain BEFORE the surgery - and things were getting worse, not better.  However, that's hard to remember at this particular point - when I am MORE disabled than I was before the surgery, and I have months to go before I am recovered enough to resume life as I knew it before.

This achilles tendon injury and surgery are exactly what I said they were - DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA!

One thing that has been very helpful is that I can track this same set of emotions on other blogs - and the vast majority of those bloggers eventually report excellent results - after many months of rehab.  And I have read as they hit this same wall I'm hitting now - and lived to tell about it.

If you're struggling with this, also - KEEP THE FAITH!


  1. Hi.."sister in distress" I am 4 wks out of surgery tomorrow. (and thankful it's over on this thanksgiving day!) I concur...on all. Frustrating is not the word! I had achilles tendon debridement & repair, as well as haglunds deformity repaired. Ugh..dbl trouble. Cast off and stitches removed at 2 wks..enter - the big 'ole boot and appt to come back in 4 wks. So....I wear the boot home (40minutes) and realize that it's killing the back of my heel (incision) and since I'm less than 3 mo. post surgery for full knee replacement (same leg) I can barely tolerate it. I am super tough but this was too much. I have only worn it 1 other time and had to pad the back with a sock. STUPID THING HURTS and is simply too heavy for my unhealed knee. I have chapped, calloused palms from the crutches and am also killing my other knee which is "bone-on-bone" and waiting for replacement also. What a mess! I am in NO Way DEMEENING YOUR EXPERIENCE or trying to 1up you! I share your frustration and I too, try to find the humor! Thanks so much for sharing your story and please keep it coming. It helps so much to know how someone else is handling this ordeal. Thanks especially for your sense of humor and for the spin you put on your posts! Don't know you but I'm sure I'm right in saying you are a super lady!
    PS: -too much pain and swelling to go without the boot, and not a good idea and causes me to put too much weight on my boo-boo'ed foot Trying to figure out how to effectively wrap my ankle including the heel, in an ace bandage. Not so easy but thinking it would help provide some support. Any ideas lady??? lol...
    PSS: I got my cast wet in the shower when my plastic bag sprung a leak! Rubber band from a head of fresh broccoli is TOO Small and too tight...caution...DO NOT USE !! =[ Sigh....
    Regards from a fellow struggler from North Carolina =)

  2. Hi Melanie,

    You posted on my weight loss blog a few months ago but I didn't see it until tonight. I wanted to let you know that the achilles situation does get better!!! I had my surgery March 19th of 2010 and if I wasn't so heavy would probably be running and doing everything. It doesn't give me much trouble. My knees are what is holding me back. Hang in there!!!

    Thanks for following my blog. I pray that I am able to get back on track. 2009 and 2010 were not good years for me and I turned to food instead of God. He is my saviour for eternity, I need to make him my saviour for this as well. I know I can't do it without him but the good news is that He is right here waiting on me to take His hand and move in the healthy direction. Congrats on your 50 pound weight loss!!! That is awesome and will definitely help with the achilles healing.

    God Bless,

  3. Hi Melanie, just wanted to say thank you for this blog. It is great to read that somebody feels the way I do. I am currently four weeks into my recovery from surgery for my achilles tendon debridement and repair on my left foot. They also did a tendon transfer from my big toe since my achilles tendon was arnd 75% scar tissue and not much was left when the doc cleaned it up! I am only taking my pain pills for the pain at night when I go to bed, the rest of the time it is Tylenol or Ibuprofin. I am wearing the rediculous boot early since apparently I was declared claustrophobic (never showed signs b4) when they put the cast on me. But still non-weight bearing for two more weeks hopefully. I am going insane in my house, quite bored out of my mind. This weekend I watched my two boys play outside in this beautiful weather and my hubby work on the yard while although very greatful to be soaking up the sun, quite irritated that I couldn't help and that if anything god forbid happened to my sons my hubby could probably get there faster than me even on his tractor on the other side of our 2 acre yard! Sad, getting used to the crutches but bad pain in my shoulder blades when I wake up in the am and bad pain in my right shoulder! See the light at the end of the tunnel but want to scream all the way there! Just wanted to say thanks again for your blog....really helps!

  4. Thanks girls for your funny comments even though I also feel your pain after achilles tendon surgery, and casts. I am now in a walking cast which is bliss but I have been through just about each experience that you have described Melanie. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!!!! I am so looking forward to a nice warm bubble bath!!!

  5. J get where ur coming from. I've been out of everything for 2 months because I have Achilles tendinitis very bad. I'm just about to start pysical therapy. Being out is a big deal for me because I'm only 13 and sports r my life and I'll have to watch my sister play the whole summer and I cant play. There is no plan o surgery but I really just don't know anymore because it just gets worse everyday. I hope u get better and r able to do everything again. I know how horrible it is just to be out and I'm not even on cruches. Best of luck!!!